The biggest milestone that shows your changing from a kid into an adult is dating, but this can be a very scary experience for a teen. No one ever teaches you how to speak to the opposite sex, ask them certain questions, flirt and ask them on dates. The world of dating can be a very confusing and mysterious place. Here are a few tips and ideas which can help you with your dating techniques.
A date is a planned time with a certain person or group, Sharing an event such as dinner, movie or even a dance. Also sharing time together for example at a friends house. Many people don't actually understand what a date is so this will give you some idea of weather you have ever been on a date.
The reason why people date is because they feel this is the best way to get to no someone and might even make the person decide weather they would like too keep them in there life and spend more time with them. The fact there is so many people in the world and everyone is unique this will let you meet so many different people and hopefully find the perfect person for you. Many people also go on dates as they think they are fun and exciting.
Many girls take relationships more to heart than which boys do. Girls grow up a lot quicker than which boys do and get more involved in the relationships they feel as if there life would not be the same with that certain boy in there life and that they're everything to them. Boys are usually ready for a sexual relationship before in which a girl is, some girls will just go along with it even though most of the time they wont feel ready but feel if they don't there boyfriend wont want to be with them. You don't have to rush into anything your still young and Theres no hurry and if someone tells you, you have to do it or they don't want to be with you any more get out of the relationship there not worth it they obviously don't love you.
Thursday, 18 December 2008
Monday, 15 December 2008
Eating Disorders
One of the most stressful times in a persons life is when they enter into adolescents. This is a time when a person begins to discover who they are, they become more independent and build close friendships with people this is also the time when there body starts to develop. For many people entering into puberty is a very frighting process and is very stressful and for others the make the change from childhood into adolescent with very few minor problems but for others how ever have a more difficult time handling the pressure and may develop an eating disorder. Some people may begin puberty early and get teased by their peers. Many people fear the weight that is gained in this period and try to loose weight rapidly but they are actually not aware of is that during this time they will grow and the weight will go to there natural set point, without the need of dieting. Once someone starts to loose weight and begins to get compliments this makes them feel more confident and makes them want to loose more as they will think this will make them happier but no matter how much weight is lost it will never be enough and they will never be happy. Going through puberty early can be a very emotional, especially if the teenager is being subjected to sexual advances. These advances can sometimes be so upsetting they feel ashamed of their bodies and fear becoming a woman. They also may try to make there bodies resemble there childhood figures doing so through starvation.
Teenagers feel the desperate need to feel as if they fit in and have the perfect body look as you see in magazines like the way some celebrities look. Young girls wish they could look like and wonder why they don't but the only reason why most celebrities look like that is because they have had work done to get to the way they perfectly want to look. Teenagers are lead to believe if they are thin they will be accepted. As young teenagers watch shows like Beverly Hills 90210 which makes them believe these people look perfect and would try anything to resemble them. Many teenagers choose fashion models and actress as their role models, they print pictures and put them all over their room, and some will resort to dangerous methods of weight control to try and look like there idol.
Teenagers feel the desperate need to feel as if they fit in and have the perfect body look as you see in magazines like the way some celebrities look. Young girls wish they could look like and wonder why they don't but the only reason why most celebrities look like that is because they have had work done to get to the way they perfectly want to look. Teenagers are lead to believe if they are thin they will be accepted. As young teenagers watch shows like Beverly Hills 90210 which makes them believe these people look perfect and would try anything to resemble them. Many teenagers choose fashion models and actress as their role models, they print pictures and put them all over their room, and some will resort to dangerous methods of weight control to try and look like there idol.
Sunday, 14 December 2008
Peer Preasure
when you were a young child you didn't really get to choose who your Friends were as your parents choose your friends for you. Putting you in play groups or arranging play dates with certain families and kids they liked. Now you have grown up and matured you get to choose who your friends are and what groups you are part of even though sometimes this is not particularly the best choice.
Your friends are usually people your ages group or close to that have the same experiences and interests as you do. You and people your age group have to make loads of decisions each day, people such as your friends, and you influence each others choices. This can often be positive as it is human nature to learn and listen from peers.
As you become more independent your peers play a greater roll in your life. As you begin to spend more time away from home like at school out in the town this is usually done with your peers. More time will be spent with your peers than with your siblings as you grow up. Some people get such a close bond with their peers that there like an extended family to them.
Not all peer pressure is bad some of it is very positive with things such as friendship, positive examples, feed back and advise, socializing and also encouragement they help you get through the tough moments in your life when you really need some one there to help and talk to.
sometimes though the stress in your life can actually be caused by peers pressuring you in to drinking, smoking, taking drugs, sex and stealing. Peers will say things like"oh come on its just one beer, and everyone else is having one" or even simply making beer available at a party. Most peer pressure happens because everyone else is doing it and you don't want to be left out and look as if your the only person not doing it and feel different.
Your friends are usually people your ages group or close to that have the same experiences and interests as you do. You and people your age group have to make loads of decisions each day, people such as your friends, and you influence each others choices. This can often be positive as it is human nature to learn and listen from peers.
As you become more independent your peers play a greater roll in your life. As you begin to spend more time away from home like at school out in the town this is usually done with your peers. More time will be spent with your peers than with your siblings as you grow up. Some people get such a close bond with their peers that there like an extended family to them.
Not all peer pressure is bad some of it is very positive with things such as friendship, positive examples, feed back and advise, socializing and also encouragement they help you get through the tough moments in your life when you really need some one there to help and talk to.
sometimes though the stress in your life can actually be caused by peers pressuring you in to drinking, smoking, taking drugs, sex and stealing. Peers will say things like"oh come on its just one beer, and everyone else is having one" or even simply making beer available at a party. Most peer pressure happens because everyone else is doing it and you don't want to be left out and look as if your the only person not doing it and feel different.
Stress From exams
Every year so many teenagers have to go through the stress of sitting there GCSE's which is a worrying time for many teenagers as many of them believe this will depend on the rest of there lives ambitions which is not true but it does help with getting the best job you want out of it. No matter what thought there is no need to get all stressed over it.
The best way in which to keep your stress levels down is too keep a positive relationship with family and friends as you will already be stressed out over your exams never mind having to stress over arguments with family members and Friends, always allow time for exercise and leisure don't be revising 24/7, make sure you get plenty of sleep you don't want to be tired during an exam, eat a sensible diet, have plenty of time for study, make sure you are well organised and have all the knowledge and information you need and learn and practice simple techniques to help your relax your school councilor can help you with this.
The way to recognise if you are stressed is that you will be irritable, tired, poor concentration, poor short term memory and prone to burst with anger and tears. No one sign is necessarily cause for worry and these need to be considered in the child's life style at that moment. Many teachers will try to help the best they can to stop children worrying about there exams.
At the end of the day you can only do your best can't you?
The best way in which to keep your stress levels down is too keep a positive relationship with family and friends as you will already be stressed out over your exams never mind having to stress over arguments with family members and Friends, always allow time for exercise and leisure don't be revising 24/7, make sure you get plenty of sleep you don't want to be tired during an exam, eat a sensible diet, have plenty of time for study, make sure you are well organised and have all the knowledge and information you need and learn and practice simple techniques to help your relax your school councilor can help you with this.
The way to recognise if you are stressed is that you will be irritable, tired, poor concentration, poor short term memory and prone to burst with anger and tears. No one sign is necessarily cause for worry and these need to be considered in the child's life style at that moment. Many teachers will try to help the best they can to stop children worrying about there exams.
At the end of the day you can only do your best can't you?
Problems with Step-parents
When two people first get married they think they will be together forever and now of days this is hardly ever the case now of days as so many people are getting divorced because peoples feeling change over time they don't feel attracted to each other any more or they are always having arguments. Even if they have children that they both love dearly staying together for the kids is not the right reasons at the end of the day because it would just mean the children were in a bad environment every time they had one of there stupid little arguments.
Usually after people have been divorced people will find someone else in their life that they really care about and love them dearly. This can be a very difficult time for the children having a new adult introduced into their lives and into your home. You would probably have a lot of questions things like why they got together if they couldn't be with your mum or dad or what to call your step dad or step mum, in most cases people just use there first name.
Many children would question whether they would need to listen to their step parents if they were giving them into trouble or telling them what to do as they are not their real mum or dad. It would probably be best to listen to them as they are an other adult in your life who is there to look out for your and do best by you. They would probably deserve the same level of respect as your own mother or father.
In some cases children may resent their step-parent because of the absent of there own parent which makes it very difficult and will make this a very emotional time. Children find it hard to take demands from people who are not there parents and will more than likely chuck that in their step-parents face " you are not my dad/mum"
Sometimes its not actually the case you don't like your step mum or dad its just that they are taking the attention of you when you want to spend time with your mum or dad and its sometimes jealousy or that they are watching a TV programme when you really wanted to watch something or ever they just hog the bath room in the morning small petty things like that are just the case and can be solved by talking about them.
If that's the case you should try taking your mother or father to one side and just say you miss the quality time you used to spend with them and you want to do more of this as you feel like it has been taking away from you now. It would never be a problem it would just be having the courage to say what you want.
If you cant seem to get along with your step parent at all no matter what the case might be to sit down with your parent and tell them what the problem and even sit down with the step-parent and tell them too, most children would just result to screaming stuff like "I hate her" or "He's ruining my life" but this wont help at all it will hurt your step-parents feelings and will only make the situation worse. Instead just say to your step-parent why your so upset and what makes you so angry and try to resolve your problems.
Sometimes speaking to someone outside the family helps as they wont no any one to take sides and you can get a point of view from the outside world which usually helps.
Usually after people have been divorced people will find someone else in their life that they really care about and love them dearly. This can be a very difficult time for the children having a new adult introduced into their lives and into your home. You would probably have a lot of questions things like why they got together if they couldn't be with your mum or dad or what to call your step dad or step mum, in most cases people just use there first name.
Many children would question whether they would need to listen to their step parents if they were giving them into trouble or telling them what to do as they are not their real mum or dad. It would probably be best to listen to them as they are an other adult in your life who is there to look out for your and do best by you. They would probably deserve the same level of respect as your own mother or father.
In some cases children may resent their step-parent because of the absent of there own parent which makes it very difficult and will make this a very emotional time. Children find it hard to take demands from people who are not there parents and will more than likely chuck that in their step-parents face " you are not my dad/mum"
Sometimes its not actually the case you don't like your step mum or dad its just that they are taking the attention of you when you want to spend time with your mum or dad and its sometimes jealousy or that they are watching a TV programme when you really wanted to watch something or ever they just hog the bath room in the morning small petty things like that are just the case and can be solved by talking about them.
If that's the case you should try taking your mother or father to one side and just say you miss the quality time you used to spend with them and you want to do more of this as you feel like it has been taking away from you now. It would never be a problem it would just be having the courage to say what you want.
If you cant seem to get along with your step parent at all no matter what the case might be to sit down with your parent and tell them what the problem and even sit down with the step-parent and tell them too, most children would just result to screaming stuff like "I hate her" or "He's ruining my life" but this wont help at all it will hurt your step-parents feelings and will only make the situation worse. Instead just say to your step-parent why your so upset and what makes you so angry and try to resolve your problems.
Sometimes speaking to someone outside the family helps as they wont no any one to take sides and you can get a point of view from the outside world which usually helps.
My Parent's Are Divorcing
This is a problem many teenagers face now a days as in England and Wales 1 in 2 marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue which means that 1 in 2 children will face the problem of their parents divorcing.
Many reasons why people divorce is that they get married to young or have financial problems which is a growing problem right now with the credit crunch. Many young families find it stressful as they cannot afford to buy there own home as prices are so high and cant find good enough paying jobs as there is not enough around.
When families are pulled apart from divorce it is usually the children that suffer as they are torn between there mother and father. Children find it very hard to choose who they want to stay with most children under the age of 11 do not get the choice who they want to live with the courts basically choose for them as they don't think they are old enough to choose. Where as with people from the age of 11 - 16 years old get the choice who they would rather live with and many teenagers find this a very difficult decision as they feel like they are betraying the other parent.
Sometimes parents don't understand how hard of decision this actually is for their children and some teenagers really stress there self out trying to decide and teenagers should really just express their feelings to their parents. They probably don't mind who you live with as long as they get to see you and spend time with you is all that counts. A solution for this problem is that you don't need to choose live with one parent for half the week and the other the next half this has happened in many cases and am sure will go on to happen and work in future cases too.
Many reasons why people divorce is that they get married to young or have financial problems which is a growing problem right now with the credit crunch. Many young families find it stressful as they cannot afford to buy there own home as prices are so high and cant find good enough paying jobs as there is not enough around.
When families are pulled apart from divorce it is usually the children that suffer as they are torn between there mother and father. Children find it very hard to choose who they want to stay with most children under the age of 11 do not get the choice who they want to live with the courts basically choose for them as they don't think they are old enough to choose. Where as with people from the age of 11 - 16 years old get the choice who they would rather live with and many teenagers find this a very difficult decision as they feel like they are betraying the other parent.
Sometimes parents don't understand how hard of decision this actually is for their children and some teenagers really stress there self out trying to decide and teenagers should really just express their feelings to their parents. They probably don't mind who you live with as long as they get to see you and spend time with you is all that counts. A solution for this problem is that you don't need to choose live with one parent for half the week and the other the next half this has happened in many cases and am sure will go on to happen and work in future cases too.
Online and Text Bulling
There are many parents and teachers that don't realise how much online and text bullying happen as they are not up to date with all the new technology and don't think it is actually possible for this to happen.
Years ago Bullying used to be a thing that only happened in the play ground and at school and as soon as you walked out of them gates at home time you were going home to get away from it where they could relax and feel safe away from all the stress. Now a days as there is so much technology it is not possible for this to happen as people can be in touch with you at all hours of the day. Some people would say that online and text bullying is more worrying and hurtful for the victim as they cannot see who is actually sending these threats as most of the bullies stay anonymous.
There are websites now people can use to type in there number or others numbers to send a message for free which means when the message is send the the person it will come up with the number which is typed in on that website so people could be bullying pretending to be some one else which can make friends fall out and make the there actually be two victims in this case the person who is getting the texts and the person who is being accused of sending these texts when they no they really haven't been.
Many School now take bullying very serious and clamp down on bullies very hardly, most schools would definitely not let them away with this, where as there are some schools which just don't have any thing to do with it and ignore it and the worst case of all is some schools say that this sort of bullying is actually not there problem at all as it is not only happen in school hours that its happening out side school so the bullies can't be punished.
If your school does nothing about your bully etc contact the police and notify them as this is not on people should not have to be bullied at home as well as school, people actually shouldn't be bullied at all but if your school does not deal with your problem the police will but don't keep this to your self at least talk to some one about this and someone will try help solve your problems and put this to rest.
Years ago Bullying used to be a thing that only happened in the play ground and at school and as soon as you walked out of them gates at home time you were going home to get away from it where they could relax and feel safe away from all the stress. Now a days as there is so much technology it is not possible for this to happen as people can be in touch with you at all hours of the day. Some people would say that online and text bullying is more worrying and hurtful for the victim as they cannot see who is actually sending these threats as most of the bullies stay anonymous.
There are websites now people can use to type in there number or others numbers to send a message for free which means when the message is send the the person it will come up with the number which is typed in on that website so people could be bullying pretending to be some one else which can make friends fall out and make the there actually be two victims in this case the person who is getting the texts and the person who is being accused of sending these texts when they no they really haven't been.
Many School now take bullying very serious and clamp down on bullies very hardly, most schools would definitely not let them away with this, where as there are some schools which just don't have any thing to do with it and ignore it and the worst case of all is some schools say that this sort of bullying is actually not there problem at all as it is not only happen in school hours that its happening out side school so the bullies can't be punished.
If your school does nothing about your bully etc contact the police and notify them as this is not on people should not have to be bullied at home as well as school, people actually shouldn't be bullied at all but if your school does not deal with your problem the police will but don't keep this to your self at least talk to some one about this and someone will try help solve your problems and put this to rest.
Verbal Bullying In School
Verbal Bullying is a major problem in the modern society today. Whether its calling some one fat, saying there clothes are horrible or just basically taking the mick out of them at all can be very hurtful. People sometimes jokingly say things like this to there friends and this can be OK in some cases but many people take it to heart and get really hurt by this. The hurt of this wont only last a couple of hours like physical bullying as normally this is forgot about after a few days or so where as verbal bullying is psychological and can stay in peoples head for years and some case they can never get over it. Is there any point in bullying really? it just causes more hurt than anything else and in major cases people can be come depressed and suicidal.
Even though the world would be a much better place without bullies it would be weird without the arguments and abuse from people. A lot of people can take insults better than they can take a compliment but a lot of people actually take the insults to heart and it is just horrible for them this can have a life time impact to the rest of there lives. No one can tell how much of an effect Verbal bullying has on the Victim as there is no evidence of it and most people can't pluck up the courage to actually tell any one it is happening where as with physical abuse you don't really have any choice whether to tell anyone as it is noticeable. A lot of people would tell you to ignore bullying but in some ways it is actually not possible as usually there will be more than just one bully and will keep irritating you till you explode and personally i think its not healthy to keep all your emotions building up inside as one day you will just explode and more than likely do something you will regret. Most bullies are cowards themselves and pick on people who are smaller than them and they think they have more weaknesses than them so they don't think they can defend themselves. Most bullies have been bullied in the past themselves and have been pushed in to bullying other people as they think this is natural and some actually don't realise there doing it.
If you are being bullied your self and this has been going on for a while don't be afraid to stand up to this person. Always remember not to lose your cool but don't act all nervous and jumping making the bully think you are scared. Always keep eye contact with the bully make them feel nervous and jumpy and they will realise your not smaller and weaker than them your just as brave and just as confident.
DON'T LET THESE PEOPLE CONTROL YOUR LIFE!!!
Even though the world would be a much better place without bullies it would be weird without the arguments and abuse from people. A lot of people can take insults better than they can take a compliment but a lot of people actually take the insults to heart and it is just horrible for them this can have a life time impact to the rest of there lives. No one can tell how much of an effect Verbal bullying has on the Victim as there is no evidence of it and most people can't pluck up the courage to actually tell any one it is happening where as with physical abuse you don't really have any choice whether to tell anyone as it is noticeable. A lot of people would tell you to ignore bullying but in some ways it is actually not possible as usually there will be more than just one bully and will keep irritating you till you explode and personally i think its not healthy to keep all your emotions building up inside as one day you will just explode and more than likely do something you will regret. Most bullies are cowards themselves and pick on people who are smaller than them and they think they have more weaknesses than them so they don't think they can defend themselves. Most bullies have been bullied in the past themselves and have been pushed in to bullying other people as they think this is natural and some actually don't realise there doing it.
If you are being bullied your self and this has been going on for a while don't be afraid to stand up to this person. Always remember not to lose your cool but don't act all nervous and jumping making the bully think you are scared. Always keep eye contact with the bully make them feel nervous and jumpy and they will realise your not smaller and weaker than them your just as brave and just as confident.
DON'T LET THESE PEOPLE CONTROL YOUR LIFE!!!
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